i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
