I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
