The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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