i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
