And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
