YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
