are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
