Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
