I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
