does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
