break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
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