there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
