I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
