I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
