I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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