Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were destined to go to rehab together
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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