doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
