you have to choose: penises or morals?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm sobbing to NWA
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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