Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
