OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
