the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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