big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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