I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
