sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
