there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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