Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
