oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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