That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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