Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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