Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
