i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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