It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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