Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The feeling are messing with the penis
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
