Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
40s are totally the cure
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize