i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
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She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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