I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
