I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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