theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
