If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
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