So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
