As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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