too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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