Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Help. Why am I so naked?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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