69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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