I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
