My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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