I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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