I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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