Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
