he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.