I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
