youre lurking in front of me
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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