Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
