just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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