I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
