i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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