Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
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Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
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Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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