We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
