im drinking this country out of the recession.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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