Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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